We all know that moving sucks. From the packing to the unpacking to the hunt for the perfect pad, anxiety escalates. Can I afford the place? Will I have enough space to spread my yoga mat for some hypothetical sun salutations? And for god’s sake, is there a washer and dryer? The brilliant creator of the Instagram account @househunters_screens has tapped into this relatability, pointedly revealing the drama of moving with quippy screen grabs from House Hunters’ endless moments of controlled chaos. Posted without context, stills from the show are overlaid with closed-captioning. No matter if you’re recently traumatized by a big move or happily nested, there is something for us all. The biggest takeaway, perhaps, is that anyone who has dared to pack up and resettle shares a decidedly unique bond. I’m merely an animal chomping at HGTV’s proverbial bit, begging for more, and I'm not even a House Hunters superfan.
For the uninitiated, here’s the House Hunters rundown: Given a list of criteria, a realtor shows prospective homeowners three properties from which to choose. At the end of each 30-minute episode—after some major misses and occasional tears along the way—buyers victoriously claim the keys to their new abodes. Despite my lack of connection to the program, I’ve been sucked into a vortex, stewing and obsessing over all things HH. Because against all odds, this pleasingly formulaic show is rife with some of today’s most unexpected meme content.
Here are 19 of @househunters_screens' most memorable and meme-able posts that recall the ups and downs of moving out and moving on.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 3, 2019 at 4:29pm PDT
This buzzword constitutes an unfairly large percentage of the real-estate lexicon. Maybe “character” describes parquet floors, exposed brick, or vaulted ceilings. Other times, it’s trying to con you into thinking a kitchen from the ‘70s is a hot commodity. Don’t let the jargon fool you—bad is still very bad.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jul 6, 2019 at 7:45am PDT
And how bad can it get? Overexposure to lackluster inventory can sap motivation from even the most patient among us. Observe these wood-paneled walls with a kooky stained glass insert, the sunken doorway with mysteriously steep steps, the dingy carpet—where does the eye go first? Other than as far from this space as humanly possible.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jul 18, 2019 at 8:18am PDT
Even for listings that require major renovations, it’s fascinating to see how others live. In this case, with orange grout.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 6, 2019 at 7:03pm PDT
Or bathroom carpet.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on May 17, 2019 at 5:42am PDT
Well, this is kind of cool.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 21, 2019 at 12:09pm PDT
Ah, budgeting. Well, more like inevitably spending way more than your budget once you take a quick peek at said inventory and decide that projected happiness is more important than that vacation you’ve been saving for. This can be a tough conversation to have with a partner or roommate—just look at her hesitant left hand and the calculated space between them. She is merely bracing for the gasp of her spouse. But what does money matter anyway now that it’s no longer backed by gold? It’s basically monopoly money, people. Moving on…
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on May 9, 2019 at 8:25am PDT
Speaking of partners and roommates, some things are just easier alone. Unless you have experience with a little thing called compromise. Which I don’t. And neither does this glass hater. Who will come out on top?
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 2, 2019 at 11:06am PDT
One lesson that’s best learned early on is to keep an open mind. Perhaps that 10-foot-ceiling requirement is worth adjusting if the rest of the space is just peachy. Or even if it’s not.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jul 19, 2019 at 3:40pm PDT
Exhibit B. City dwellers might receive a rude awakening, after asking a realtor for “a backyard with a mature tree or maybe a wisteria-covered terrace.” Nothing is more of a reality check than the ambient sounds of the neighborhood trash collection 20 feet from your “garden-level” apartment. Sayonara backyard, hello bodega fern.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Apr 24, 2019 at 5:28am PDT
I don’t care if you’re a realist, some properties are definitely haunted. If you ever get trapped in a boring conversation at a dinner party, ask the group if they believe in ghosts. I guarantee that someone will have a haunted-house story. Hopefully it’s not you.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 23, 2019 at 10:25am PDT
Did I say I didn’t compromise earlier? Maybe I have it in me after all. If it means this view. I don’t cook anyway.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 8, 2019 at 3:37pm PDT
They say if you don’t have anything nice to say, use a hashtag. After a draining day of house hunting, sometimes that’s all we have left.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 4, 2019 at 5:30pm PDT
It’s important when shopping for a place of residence to be honest about how you’ll use the space. Are you a natural light freak? A table tennis champ? Need space—and soundproof walls—for band practice? Claustrophobic? Whatever your needs or interests, house hunting should be a judgement-free zone.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 10, 2019 at 1:51pm PDT
But for those inevitable liars out there (we see you), bring a buddy on the hunt. They’ll make sure the unbridled optimism for your new life is at least in the realm of realism.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 11, 2019 at 2:59pm PDT
Dear realtors: We love you, we need you, but sometimes you need to do less. I get it—your clients come to you describing their needs in the abstract. They want to cultivate a “vibe.” They’re bringing up far-too-personal memories of their childhood homes. They want a lake-house aesthetic in the middle of San Francisco. Whatever. Some of our baggage isn’t worth listening to. Case in point: Is the world’s preppiest wall covering going to make up for a house’s myriad other flaws? Listen to us, but also don’t.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jun 30, 2019 at 4:20pm PDT
One of the most satisfying parts of moving is inviting friends into your new nest. These guys know what’s important—a space to entertain in. Or destroy. Depending on your friends, of course.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on May 28, 2019 at 6:20am PDT
When teamed with a realtor—and, in this case, a roving camera crew—a couple’s petty issues might come to light. I read this caption with a sarcastic tone: Picture a deadbeat boyfriend who waxes poetically about his musical ambitions while surrounded by takeout boxes under a cloud of vape smoke. He hasn’t left the house in weeks. Once on the house hunt, his girlfriend spots a pair of mini speakers perched atop a DIY gamer’s setup. This is her chance to strike.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on May 24, 2019 at 10:24am PDT
For those moving on an abbreviated timeline or to a completely new city, finding a co-dweller can take on a life of its own—hello, Craigslist. Gone are the fantasies of nesting in a new bachelor pad with your closest bros. And yet, we make it work. If only to avoid moving again.
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A post shared by House Hunters Screens (@househunters_screens) on Jul 15, 2019 at 7:52am PDT
Maybe attempt the impossible—don’t worry too much. After all the stressors, tears, and really bad decorating, you will find a place that’s yours. Maybe it will take shape over months or years (we can help!), but nothing feels quite as sweet as staking claim to one’s own space. And at the end of the day, when filled with objects that are truly yours, it doesn’t matter if that orange grout sticks around for a few more years. Two words: Simple pleasures. Actually, three more: You did it!
